No Child Left Behind

The Bush Administration, like many conservative groups, cares a lot about young lives. From zygotes to embryos to nine-month-old fetuses, Bush 'n' friends care a great deal about the well-being of an almost-child. After your born, though, you'd better hope you weren't born poor. --- ueberbill from BSalert.com

You know, this is very true. They care so much (for religious reasons) to make sure that they'll leave no fetus behind, because they wish to save your soul. Then, once you're born, you're in a bit of a problem. I don't have to go over it all do I? No? Ok, good. Well, there's a simple explanation for it. Expanding poverty levels, poor school funding with horrible teacher's unions, goin' to war and a whole lot more. Yup. A simple explanation.

They're EVIL. Wait, hold on, let me explain. So, they want to make sure you're born, right? They go through all the effort to get you in your mother (with help from father), veto laws that would end up in some 'soul lossage', and lots of other things to make sure you. get. born. Ok. Great. Now what? You're born and BAM you're on your own. Go to public school with abysmal standards, no health care, everyone below a certain point is getting poorer (and that level is getting higher). Great. Now what? You can't afford college. You could take out a loan and pait ot off for the rest of your life or you could enlist or something. Ok, assuming you don't die in Iraq or the middle east, now what? You live then. You. Die. BAM. They're evil. I told you! Wait, hold on, it makes sense. Check it out.

Bush and his homies are actually working for evil forces (or maybe they ARE the evil forces, you can never be too sure) to make sure god inserts enough souls into little baby fetuses (yes, they're the youngest of the fetuses) and then give you every chance to be born under near optimal circumstances. Then, now that your soul is ripe for the pickin', they make sure your life is a living hell and make it as risky as possible. Bam. Evil. What did I tell you? They push the envelope on soul harvesting. I mean, start from the top and work your way down, right? How best to collect a huge sum of human spirits if not to control the laws and military?

Great. So we agree? Death dealers, right? They're out to get you and your souls. Better hide them. And babies, if you have them, make sure you order the soul-free ones from god. They may be boring and lifeless, but at least their mortal lives won't be in jeopardy from the soulsuckin' Administration huh? Wait, most of my readers are from outside the country. SAVE YOURSELF. You and all your loved ones are at risk. Souls, beware.