What is Love (and Marrage)? (Or lack there of)

The SHORT Post:
What the fuck man. 48% of marrages end in divorce. Fuck. Have some foresight people! Where's the love? Where's the 'until death do us part'? Damn.


The LONG Post:
The National Center for Health Statistics - Divorce

According to this site (and it's a pretty official site):
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(Data are for U.S. for year indicated)

Number of marriages: 2,230,000

Marriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population

Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)

This page last reviewed October 06, 2006
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Now if my math numbers are right, 3.6/7.5 = .48. That's 48%. And, that's only considering 46 States and the D.C. District, which means that 48% might be higher. (Note that all marrages are taken into account, but not all divorces, so the figures can be slightly skewed. It could be read two ways though. They're not counting those 4 states and the D.C. district at all for number of divorces only, or for both, number of divorces and population. In the case of the first, the divorce rate is MUCH higher, in the case of the second, it should be fairly similar to the current statistic).

So for every two couples that get married, one couple will get divorced. Until death do us part, right? Marrage is a sham, and has been for quite some time. It's origins of Marrage is uncertain, but it exists in nearly all societies. But, like nearly everything in this world, something that may have been born of powerful emotions and were intended to be used for good in one way or another, will be manipulated, twisted, and abused. Arranged marrages, political marrages, 'because it's tradition', 'it's financially safe', etc, etc. Love isn't the primary concern for these marrages, and these marrages are far more common than I'd like to believe.

And, those kinds of marrages aside, we have to consider the people. People can (and will) get together foolishly. They won't look to the future beyond a few days, weeks, maybe even months or years. And then, maybe they decide to 'take the plunge', as many people would say. Ok, great! They get married. Now they're part of the statistics. And from here, statistically, there's a 50% chance they're going to break up. Those are some pretty shitty odds man. 50%? I have better luck in craps than I do staying in a marrage. Is that what Love and Marrage has become? A bad game of craps?

That can't be it. There's plenty of things to factor in. People aren't just a random figure that's dependent on a roll of a die or two. Of course. But people are ignorant. Everyone is, myself included. Everyone is ignorant about something, because we're human, and we don't know everything. But sometimes, people choose to believe something, even if they have reason not to, even if they know it's a lie. They may turn a blind eye to other things, and just not see them, or maybe they'll think "they'll change" or "it's not a big deal", or fabricate something else to convince themself that it's a good idea.

They get caught in the moment, their emotions are flaring and their senses are failing them. Then, reality kicks in. For some. For those who don't, stay in your delusions, this post doesn't apply to you anyways. This is for everyone else (those 50%, and then some). You made a mistake. It's over. There's too much pressure. Pressure from family, from society, from friends, from your 'ideals'. Marrage is "x", and "x" is how it should be. If you're not like that, it's wrong. Because you know (KNOW) that it's suppose to be "x". But that's what you've learned from TVs, Movies, Society, maybe even family. Not saying it's wrong, but I'm also saying that it might not be 'right'. What do I mean by 'right'? They set you up. Set you up for unrealistic expectations. Being swept of your feet by prince charming, Ms. Right walks into your life. Fantasy shrouds your judgement and reality becomes a distant thing. Maybe, maybe one day it'll hit you, and hopefully that's not somewhere 25 years down your life when it's almost too late. But it's easier to believe a lie than admit your life has been wrong.

But you know what? We love tragedy. We do! It's easier to relate to tragedy. Everyone's had bad times and we share them together. We love to hear about the downfall of our fellow man (or woman). Tabloids, the news, gossip, they're all the same thing in that sense. "Hey, X and Y broke up." or "X was cheating on Y with Z!". Oh, and let's not forget "AB broke up. So did CD, EF, and GH!" Wow, what great news. We cling to to these things which do not matter to us very much for some reason. There's a war going on, important court cases, bills being discussed and passed, but what do you see on the news? "Who's the baby's daddy?" "Your life could be in danger! Tune in!" "School Shooting!" Right. VTech. That's another post, maybe. I feel that I'm ranting so I should move on.

So anyways, you tell me. What's the point of marrage? Failure rate of 50%? Those are some good odds. That's not to mention how many marrages stay together, even though they hate each other, or they want to stay together for the kids, or it's just 'taboo' or this, or that. The love is lost (what little there was), and it's a sham of a marrage. Marrage is just a term. It means practically nothing if there is no love involved.

For those of you planning to get married one day, more power to you. I hope things work out great. However, according to the statistics, you've just as much chance to end in misery and divoce as you do staying together. I hope you have more foresight than everyone else in this country has. And for my international readers, I can't speak for you, but at least here, I can assure you, Marrage has become a sham. Maybe it hasn't become a sham at all? Or maybe it's always been one since the beginning?

*Note: I do feel a need to state, that the idea of Marrage is great. I think it's a wonderful thing. Not all marrages are BS and not all will end in divorce. There are those that love each other and stay together, through thick and through thin, and it's a beautiful thing. I look up to you and what you have, and admire and love what you have. This post does not apply to you. You are what people should look up to and admire.

**Note: Yes, I'm a bit bitter. Why? Those numbers don't lie, and my whole life I've seen it all around me. People can sing about it all they want, movies, books, TV, whatever. Emotions cloud our judgement. Bad ideas sound like good ideas. We believe these bad ideas because we want to believe them. Whatever. I'm a bitter old man and have been for a great many years. I'd take a ballpark estimate at oooooh, almost 13 years? Lucky 13 huh? (another post on that I guess).

***Note: On a side note, these statistics aren't taking into consideration marrages that: end with murder of the spouse [awwwww <3], style="font-weight: bold;">63%? Yummy!

****Note: FUCK MAN. 48%!? Damn! UGH. Only something as emotionally powerful can a 'success' rate of 48% be acceptable. It's rediculous. Think of a school had a 48% failure rate, or your car's breaks have a 48% chance to bitch out, or just... UGH. It's a fucking joke. You throw money at it (liscence, wedding, etc etc) and half the time it's ultimately bullshit anyways. Way to live up to your vows. "Well, they did mean them when they said it", some people may say. Great. They REALLY meant it when they said it. Now we have to call their judgement into question ANYTIME they REALLY mean anything. Ugh... *COUGH* Er... yeah, had to get that out. Eh...

Riiight, well... Now I'll end this, 'downer' of a post with soemthing a bit more of an 'up'. This saying is well known, but only the first part. I will say though, it does say what it says quite well. Farwell for another post well done (I hope).

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Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr

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