You know you're in college when...

Yet, another list blatently stolen from ANOTHER site (cough!). Asteriks signify the creator's favorites.


*1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered "early".

2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.

3. Weekends start on Thursday.

4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.

5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.

6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.

7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.

8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.

9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.

10. You can't remember the last time you washed your car.

11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.

12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.

13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.

14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.

15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.

*16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.

17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them... sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.

*18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.

20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.

21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.

22. You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.

*23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.

24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class... anything with caffeine will do.

25. Quarters are like gold.

26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.

27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc...

*29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.

30. You ask people what YOU did last night.

*31. Certain things are now deemed "Facebook worthy." When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.

*32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.

33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.

34. You sleep more in class than in your room

35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.

36. You've traveled with bags of dirty clothes.

37. You go home to do your laundry because you're too poor to pay the $2... or too lazy to go to a change machine.

*38. You pay $100 for a book you don't read once, return it four months later, and get $7.

39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.

40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday's meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal - a safe bet for any meal.

41. You use words like "thus" (see #40).

42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.

43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.

44. It takes preparation... and 3 people... to take out your garbage.

45. Going to the library is a social event.

46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year... you know why.

*47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.

48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.

49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.

*50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going... technology fees? I think not.

*51. Bicycles don't seem as lame as they did in high school.

52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.

53. Girls: You've balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.

54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.

55. You've written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $2.00 of gas.

56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.

57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.

58. Most of your T.A.'s are foreign...what's the deal?

*59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.

*60. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.

61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.

*62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.

63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.

*64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.

65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.

66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.

67. Two words: bike cops.

68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.

69. Old school Nintendo... and guitar hero... are pretty much the best things ever.

70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.

71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.

72. You've paid bills over $5... in coins.

73. You can't imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ i-pod.

74. Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm - jeans are considered "dressy" at certain occasions... like school.

75. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.

76. Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable.

77. Your professors speak English... as a second language.

78. Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.

79. Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are ok.

80. You take condiment packets and napkins from fast food restaurants - hey, they're free.

81. Betta fish are like your family.

82. You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours.

83. You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing...

84. The elevators take forever but you'll wait 10 minutes just so you don't have to climb stairs.

85. Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they're standing 5 feet away from the door.

86. Showers become more of an issue.

87. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.

88. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.

*89. Class size doubles on exam days.

90. You donate plasma even though you know it's pretty sketchy.

*91. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you.

92. You've bought Christmas presents from the book store and charged it to your student account so your parents pay for the gifts because you're too broke.

93. You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables.

94. You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it's too cold to walk home.

95. People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips.

*96. There's always a "question kid" in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.

97. You steal dishes from the cafeteria so you don't have to wash your own.

98. Laundry is an all-day event.

99. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.

100. It's illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc. in the bookstore.

101. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.

102. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.

103. You've eaten cereal out of a cup... with a fork.

104. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.

105. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone into a toilet.

106. You hang multiple shirts on the same hanger to save space/money.

*107. You become increasingly annoyed with the "old" people in class - props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.

108. You admire people's alcohol bottle shrines.

109. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.

110. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.

111. You text faster than you type.

112. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.

113. You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books.

114. You open canned food and eat it... out of the can.

115. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute... adds a little flair.

116. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”

117. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.

*118. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.

"The 86 rules of Boozing"

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.

32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.

37. Try one new drink each week.

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.

43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.

44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

45. It's okay to drink alone.

46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.

47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.

48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.

49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.

52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.

53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.

54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.

58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

59. If you are broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

60. If you are broke and a friend is “making sport of you”, you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.

61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.

63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.

65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.

66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.”

67. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they’re sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.

77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . .”

78. When you’re in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he’s buying.

79. If you are 86’d, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.

80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.

82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.

83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.

84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.

85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.

86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

--Frank Kelly Rich

Blatently stolen from a site which 'stole' it from another site. The original site (I hope... I think?) has the poster for sale here (at least, this is the site that was referenced to).

Death Redefined with Heart Attacks

"May 7, 2007 issue - Consider someone who has just died of a heart attack. His organs are intact, he hasn't lost blood. All that's happened is his heart has stopped beating—the definition of "clinical death"—and his brain has shut down to conserve oxygen. But what has actually died?"

Wow. Oxygen actually kills you! Wow, we've been killing people for years then. Well, in the right situations anyways. It's a damn interesting article.

Rare but Real: People Who Feel, Taste and Hear Color

"When Ingrid Carey says she feels colors, she does not mean she sees red, or feels blue, or is green with envy. She really does feel them.

She can also taste them, and hear them, and smell them.

The 20-year-old junior at the University of Maine has synesthesia, a rare neurological condition in which two or more of the senses entwine. Numbers and letters, sensations and emotions, days and months are all associated with colors for Carey.

The letter "N" is sienna brown; "J" is light green; the number "8" is orange; and July is bluish-green.

The pain from a shin split throbs in hues of orange and yellow, purple and red, Carey told LiveScience.

Colors in Carey's world have properties that most of us would never dream of: red is solid, powerful and consistent, while yellow is pliable, brilliant and intense. Chocolate is rich purple and makes Carey�s breath smell dark blue. Confusion is orange."

That's pretty cool, and there's tons more to the article, and it only gets more interesting. BAM.