Someone's treasure is another man's trash

[1st - 18 monika]................. [2th - 15 Bailey].................. [3th - 13 Lastlifeinmyuniverse] [3nd - 13 vengelyne]............ [5rd - 10 Francis Marion]....... [6th - 8 Jnetsworld]............... [7th - 7 Gyrobo]................... [8th - 4 Elizabeth Bloom]....... [9th - 3 Instantiable]............ [10th - 2 Arront]................... [11th - 0 Everyone Else]........ Everyone else needs to get in gear. Come on people!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

No Child Left Behind

The Bush Administration, like many conservative groups, cares a lot about young lives. From zygotes to embryos to nine-month-old fetuses, Bush 'n' friends care a great deal about the well-being of an almost-child. After your born, though, you'd better hope you weren't born poor. --- ueberbill from BSalert.com

You know, this is very true. They care so much (for religious reasons) to make sure that they'll leave no fetus behind, because they wish to save your soul. Then, once you're born, you're in a bit of a problem. I don't have to go over it all do I? No? Ok, good. Well, there's a simple explanation for it. Expanding poverty levels, poor school funding with horrible teacher's unions, goin' to war and a whole lot more. Yup. A simple explanation.

They're EVIL. Wait, hold on, let me explain. So, they want to make sure you're born, right? They go through all the effort to get you in your mother (with help from father), veto laws that would end up in some 'soul lossage', and lots of other things to make sure you. get. born. Ok. Great. Now what? You're born and BAM you're on your own. Go to public school with abysmal standards, no health care, everyone below a certain point is getting poorer (and that level is getting higher). Great. Now what? You can't afford college. You could take out a loan and pait ot off for the rest of your life or you could enlist or something. Ok, assuming you don't die in Iraq or the middle east, now what? You live then. You. Die. BAM. They're evil. I told you! Wait, hold on, it makes sense. Check it out.

Bush and his homies are actually working for evil forces (or maybe they ARE the evil forces, you can never be too sure) to make sure god inserts enough souls into little baby fetuses (yes, they're the youngest of the fetuses) and then give you every chance to be born under near optimal circumstances. Then, now that your soul is ripe for the pickin', they make sure your life is a living hell and make it as risky as possible. Bam. Evil. What did I tell you? They push the envelope on soul harvesting. I mean, start from the top and work your way down, right? How best to collect a huge sum of human spirits if not to control the laws and military?

Great. So we agree? Death dealers, right? They're out to get you and your souls. Better hide them. And babies, if you have them, make sure you order the soul-free ones from god. They may be boring and lifeless, but at least their mortal lives won't be in jeopardy from the soulsuckin' Administration huh? Wait, most of my readers are from outside the country. SAVE YOURSELF. You and all your loved ones are at risk. Souls, beware.

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Monday, May 07, 2007

You know you're in college when...

Yet, another list blatently stolen from ANOTHER site (cough!). Asteriks signify the creator's favorites.


*1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered "early".

2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.

3. Weekends start on Thursday.

4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.

5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.

6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.

7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.

8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.

9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.

10. You can't remember the last time you washed your car.

11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.

12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.

13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.

14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.

15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.

*16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.

17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them... sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.

*18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.

20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.

21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.

22. You go to Target or Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week.

*23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.

24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class... anything with caffeine will do.

25. Quarters are like gold.

26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.

27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc...

*29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.

30. You ask people what YOU did last night.

*31. Certain things are now deemed "Facebook worthy." When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.

*32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.

33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.

34. You sleep more in class than in your room

35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.

36. You've traveled with bags of dirty clothes.

37. You go home to do your laundry because you're too poor to pay the $2... or too lazy to go to a change machine.

*38. You pay $100 for a book you don't read once, return it four months later, and get $7.

39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.

40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday's meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal - a safe bet for any meal.

41. You use words like "thus" (see #40).

42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.

43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.

44. It takes preparation... and 3 people... to take out your garbage.

45. Going to the library is a social event.

46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year... you know why.

*47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.

48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.

49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.

*50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going... technology fees? I think not.

*51. Bicycles don't seem as lame as they did in high school.

52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.

53. Girls: You've balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.

54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.

55. You've written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $2.00 of gas.

56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.

57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.

58. Most of your T.A.'s are foreign...what's the deal?

*59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.

*60. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.

61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.

*62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.

63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.

*64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.

65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.

66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.

67. Two words: bike cops.

68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.

69. Old school Nintendo... and guitar hero... are pretty much the best things ever.

70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.

71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.

72. You've paid bills over $5... in coins.

73. You can't imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ i-pod.

74. Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm - jeans are considered "dressy" at certain occasions... like school.

75. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.

76. Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable.

77. Your professors speak English... as a second language.

78. Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.

79. Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are ok.

80. You take condiment packets and napkins from fast food restaurants - hey, they're free.

81. Betta fish are like your family.

82. You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours.

83. You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing...

84. The elevators take forever but you'll wait 10 minutes just so you don't have to climb stairs.

85. Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they're standing 5 feet away from the door.

86. Showers become more of an issue.

87. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.

88. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.

*89. Class size doubles on exam days.

90. You donate plasma even though you know it's pretty sketchy.

*91. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you.

92. You've bought Christmas presents from the book store and charged it to your student account so your parents pay for the gifts because you're too broke.

93. You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables.

94. You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it's too cold to walk home.

95. People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips.

*96. There's always a "question kid" in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.

97. You steal dishes from the cafeteria so you don't have to wash your own.

98. Laundry is an all-day event.

99. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.

100. It's illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc. in the bookstore.

101. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.

102. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.

103. You've eaten cereal out of a cup... with a fork.

104. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.

105. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone into a toilet.

106. You hang multiple shirts on the same hanger to save space/money.

*107. You become increasingly annoyed with the "old" people in class - props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.

108. You admire people's alcohol bottle shrines.

109. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.

110. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.

111. You text faster than you type.

112. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.

113. You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books.

114. You open canned food and eat it... out of the can.

115. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute... adds a little flair.

116. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”

117. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.

*118. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

"The 86 rules of Boozing"

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.

32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.

37. Try one new drink each week.

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.

43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.

44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

45. It's okay to drink alone.

46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.

47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.

48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.

49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.

52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.

53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.

54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.

58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

59. If you are broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

60. If you are broke and a friend is “making sport of you”, you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.

61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.

63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.

65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.

66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.”

67. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they’re sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.

77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . .”

78. When you’re in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he’s buying.

79. If you are 86’d, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.

80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.

82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.

83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.

84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.

85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.

86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

--Frank Kelly Rich

Blatently stolen from a site which 'stole' it from another site. The original site (I hope... I think?) has the poster for sale here (at least, this is the site that was referenced to).

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Death Redefined with Heart Attacks

"May 7, 2007 issue - Consider someone who has just died of a heart attack. His organs are intact, he hasn't lost blood. All that's happened is his heart has stopped beating—the definition of "clinical death"—and his brain has shut down to conserve oxygen. But what has actually died?"

Wow. Oxygen actually kills you! Wow, we've been killing people for years then. Well, in the right situations anyways. It's a damn interesting article.

Rare but Real: People Who Feel, Taste and Hear Color

"When Ingrid Carey says she feels colors, she does not mean she sees red, or feels blue, or is green with envy. She really does feel them.

She can also taste them, and hear them, and smell them.

The 20-year-old junior at the University of Maine has synesthesia, a rare neurological condition in which two or more of the senses entwine. Numbers and letters, sensations and emotions, days and months are all associated with colors for Carey.

The letter "N" is sienna brown; "J" is light green; the number "8" is orange; and July is bluish-green.

The pain from a shin split throbs in hues of orange and yellow, purple and red, Carey told LiveScience.

Colors in Carey's world have properties that most of us would never dream of: red is solid, powerful and consistent, while yellow is pliable, brilliant and intense. Chocolate is rich purple and makes Carey�s breath smell dark blue. Confusion is orange."

That's pretty cool, and there's tons more to the article, and it only gets more interesting. BAM.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Good and Evil (and a dash of Morals) Chill, Mix Well, then Serve

The SHORT Post:
There is no 'good' and 'evil'. It's all relative. What's good for you, is bad for someone else. There is no 'good' without 'evil'. You apply for a job and you get it. Good for you. Everyone else who applied? Bad for them. Deal with it, it's all relative.


The LONG Post:
Good and Evil. We're always trying to do 'good', right? Do no wrong, nothing 'evil', because that's bad. But what is 'good', and what is 'evil'? Ok, let me paint you a scenario. And you tell me what's the right thing to do, what was good and what was bad, ok?

Situation A: You're walking down the street, on the way home from work. You happen to find a $20 on the floor. You pick it up, and look around. Nobody's around you. You don't really have anyone to turn it into, no way to report it. You decide, it's your lucky day. You slip it in your pocket and go about your day.

Verdict? That's a good one, right? You find some money! Sweet. You can save that money, or blow it on something. It doesn't matter, it was free. It was excess. It's an unexpected bonus. Right, so let's look at another situation now.

Situation a: You're rushing to get home, and you gotta find your keys. You reach into your pocket and pull out your keys, completely ignorant to the fact that the $20 that's suppose to get you through the day just slipped out of your pocket. You get in your car and go on your way. Hours later, you discover that it's missing, and you have no idea where you lost it.

Verdict? Shit. That sucks. You just lost some of your hard earned cash because you were a little careless. This is defiantely bad, right? But wait. How can the exact same situation be both "good" AND "bad" at the same time? Well, because good and bad, good and evil, it's all reletive. What's beneficial for you is 'good', and what's detrimental to you is 'evil'.

That's it. That's all there is to it. Don't think beyond that. No, don't pull religion into this! No, don't pull laws and morals into-dammit! How did I know you were gonna go there? How? *sigh* Ok, well, fine. Let's talk about that. I mean, 10 Commandments, Laws, morals, traditions, taboos, this, that, it's all fine and dandy. But it doesn't really determine what's 'right' and 'wrong'.

Well, it kind of does I guess but ultimately, it doesnt. Ok, I guess I need to elaborate. Let's start with a simple one. A man breaks into your house, he's wielding a knife, and intends on leaving no witnesses. You arm yourself with a handy firearm (that you legally own, of course) and remove the threat from your home. *bam*, a round goes off and it was quite a shot. The thug is taken down, dead. This is murder. And murder is wrong, right? Well, yeah. Sort of. Murder is ok, if the situation allows, right? Like, if we're going to war, or we're defending ourself, then it's ok. But outright murder is bad, right?

So that already shows that things are very situational, and relative to what the situation is. There is no 'absolute' right or wrong, good or evil in the case of murder. So, uh, yeah. I guess murder (the intentional and unlawful taking of another person's life) can be justified and allowed in civilized societies. Hurray! You hear that? It's OK to murder people! Well, if the situation is right.

And hey! In situation A and a, it already shows that 'good' and 'bad' can both come from the same thing. In fact, there will always be winners and losers for anything that happens. A lot of times, we (people) can agree that there are some 'bad' things that nobody wants. Wiping out humanity, for instance is bad. Or IS it? It's bad for us people, no doubt. But for everything else other than us, it should be pretty good, right? Insects will definately be taking over our old stomping grounds, along with some wild animals. So it's good for them... but damn, that's really bad for us.

[This is the "Big Paragraph"] Then again, we (as a religion) can agree that certain 'taboos' (sins) are bad and nobody should do them. And if someone does, they're wrong (until we change our minds, of course). Then again, we (as a ethnicity) can agree that certain things are good for us, and certain things are good for us, but bad for other ethnicities. Then again, we (as a Country) can agree that certain things are good for us, which may be bad for other Countries. Then again, we (as a city) can agree that certain things are good for us, which may be bad for other cities. Then again, we ( as a family unit) can agree that certain things are good for us, which may be bad for other families.

See how that works? There's lots of 'good' and 'bad' things to each of us. And in fact, there's tons of conflictions within each person because of all these different layers. There's no absolute 'good' or 'bad', but it all depends on (what, who, where, when, why). It may be good for our country, may be bad for our city. And that same thing can be good for our religion, but bad for our family unit. What a shame, huh? That one thing could be so good, good, and bad, bad, ALL at the same time?

"But Bitter old Anifanatic! We have MORALS to guide us!"

Hush you! Who let you back in here!? *KICK* Right, well, I'll still address your point. Morals. We invented morals, plain and simple. That does't mean they're good or bad, just that they can't tell us what really is good or bad. Only what's good or bad in relation to what these sets of morals come from. (Read the "Big Paragraph"). Because morals are relative also. I hope I don't have to go over that whole thing again, as I said (read the "Big Paragraph").

So, a lot of you are probably still wondering. "Well, if ALL this is true Mr. Fancy Pants, then how do we know what's good and bad?" Well, I'm glad you think I have Fancy Pants, and I'm glad you brought up that point. We, as people, decide what's right or wrong. Ok, this is gonna take a few steps of evolution so let' back it up a bit. So I think, murder is wrong. I don't like the idea of people running around killing whoever they like. I like not being in a place where my life is in danger. Then you come along. You feel the same way. We decide to live together, and work together. We have similar beliefs as to what we think is right and wrong, so we start a town, that grows as other likeminded people come to stay with us. These ideas become laws, for everyone to read because this is OUR town and we decided what we think is 'right' and 'wrong'.

Now adjust it a bit slightly different, and you can easily see how it works with other things. This is how countries are formed. This is how religions are formed. This is how clubs are formed, teams, companies, friendships, etc. I think _____ is good and ------ is bad. You agree. We join together to make one of the things I listed above. You know what, these things grow. My country might think something, and yours thinks the same. Our countries become freinds. We hang out and do stuff together. When we meet up with other countries, we're friends! We have each other's back, it's cool! It's the same as if we were individuals, and meeting on a school playground, right?

Right and wrong is taught to us by our parents because they believe something, and they want us to believe it too. We go to a school and we get taught what's right and wrong by them too, in their perspective. Then there's the government too. Well, then it gets complicated. Maybe our parents taught us something that school or the government disagrees with. Or I find a religion I like and it clashes with my parents because they disagree on what's 'right' and 'wrong'. Damn. For something that's suppose to be so easily distinguishable, it sure seems we've divided ourselves a hundred times over as to whats good and bad huh? See? There's no right and wrong. There's only what's right and wrong, for the individual. And from there, it can extend to other things like ethnicity, the family, city, governmnet, religion, etc. But it's ALL relative.

So when someone says "Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Don't you have any morals? That's so fucked up! Stop fucking that donkey!" Well, as much as I agree with no donkey sex, I have to say that there is no 'right' or 'wrong'. If he wants to fuck a donkey, who am I to tell him it's wrong? I think it's wrong, sure, but that's me. I'm not him. It's relative (but seriously people, don't go fucking donkeys). Now if you just switch "fucking donkeys" with "Abortion" then, the lines will be drawn and people will take sides because that's something more people are divided about (hopefully). Or if you switch "Abortion" with "Movie Ratings" and what people are allowed to see at what age.

People are different. What's right and wrong varies. If you think one way, and I think another. It doesn't really bother me. If it's that different, no hard feelings, but we're too different for my taste. We can part ways and you live your life according to you, and I'll live my life how I want to also. Don't take offense to it. Sure, we might be able to be friends if it's not that big of a deal, but if it is, we might not be able to be freinds anymore. This is where people get divided about things, and great relationships end because as great as the freindship, marrage, religion, government, etc has been in the past and might still be now, that one (or several) thing(s) that you're passionate about and really can't let slide... well that can break it up. You might be able to let "paper bags" and "plastic bags" slide, because it doesn't matter that much to either of you. But when it comes to critical topics (which I won't cover, but you know what they can be), it can be a 'deal breaker'.

No hard feelings, eh? We're still friends, hopefully. But if it's bad enough, hopefully not. Opinions, good and evil, and morals will divide people even further, with each passing day, with each generation. It's just how things are. There's no 'good', there's no 'evil'. There's only "Opinions".

What is Love (and Marrage)? (Or lack there of)

The SHORT Post:
What the fuck man. 48% of marrages end in divorce. Fuck. Have some foresight people! Where's the love? Where's the 'until death do us part'? Damn.


The LONG Post:
The National Center for Health Statistics - Divorce

According to this site (and it's a pretty official site):
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(Data are for U.S. for year indicated)

bullet graphicNumber of marriages: 2,230,000

bullet graphicMarriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population

bullet graphicDivorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)


This page last reviewed October 06, 2006
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Now if my math numbers are right, 3.6/7.5 = .48. That's 48%. And, that's only considering 46 States and the D.C. District, which means that 48% might be higher. (Note that all marrages are taken into account, but not all divorces, so the figures can be slightly skewed. It could be read two ways though. They're not counting those 4 states and the D.C. district at all for number of divorces only, or for both, number of divorces and population. In the case of the first, the divorce rate is MUCH higher, in the case of the second, it should be fairly similar to the current statistic).

So for every two couples that get married, one couple will get divorced. Until death do us part, right? Marrage is a sham, and has been for quite some time. It's origins of Marrage is uncertain, but it exists in nearly all societies. But, like nearly everything in this world, something that may have been born of powerful emotions and were intended to be used for good in one way or another, will be manipulated, twisted, and abused. Arranged marrages, political marrages, 'because it's tradition', 'it's financially safe', etc, etc. Love isn't the primary concern for these marrages, and these marrages are far more common than I'd like to believe.

And, those kinds of marrages aside, we have to consider the people. People can (and will) get together foolishly. They won't look to the future beyond a few days, weeks, maybe even months or years. And then, maybe they decide to 'take the plunge', as many people would say. Ok, great! They get married. Now they're part of the statistics. And from here, statistically, there's a 50% chance they're going to break up. Those are some pretty shitty odds man. 50%? I have better luck in craps than I do staying in a marrage. Is that what Love and Marrage has become? A bad game of craps?

That can't be it. There's plenty of things to factor in. People aren't just a random figure that's dependent on a roll of a die or two. Of course. But people are ignorant. Everyone is, myself included. Everyone is ignorant about something, because we're human, and we don't know everything. But sometimes, people choose to believe something, even if they have reason not to, even if they know it's a lie. They may turn a blind eye to other things, and just not see them, or maybe they'll think "they'll change" or "it's not a big deal", or fabricate something else to convince themself that it's a good idea.

They get caught in the moment, their emotions are flaring and their senses are failing them. Then, reality kicks in. For some. For those who don't, stay in your delusions, this post doesn't apply to you anyways. This is for everyone else (those 50%, and then some). You made a mistake. It's over. There's too much pressure. Pressure from family, from society, from friends, from your 'ideals'. Marrage is "x", and "x" is how it should be. If you're not like that, it's wrong. Because you know (KNOW) that it's suppose to be "x". But that's what you've learned from TVs, Movies, Society, maybe even family. Not saying it's wrong, but I'm also saying that it might not be 'right'. What do I mean by 'right'? They set you up. Set you up for unrealistic expectations. Being swept of your feet by prince charming, Ms. Right walks into your life. Fantasy shrouds your judgement and reality becomes a distant thing. Maybe, maybe one day it'll hit you, and hopefully that's not somewhere 25 years down your life when it's almost too late. But it's easier to believe a lie than admit your life has been wrong.

But you know what? We love tragedy. We do! It's easier to relate to tragedy. Everyone's had bad times and we share them together. We love to hear about the downfall of our fellow man (or woman). Tabloids, the news, gossip, they're all the same thing in that sense. "Hey, X and Y broke up." or "X was cheating on Y with Z!". Oh, and let's not forget "AB broke up. So did CD, EF, and GH!" Wow, what great news. We cling to to these things which do not matter to us very much for some reason. There's a war going on, important court cases, bills being discussed and passed, but what do you see on the news? "Who's the baby's daddy?" "Your life could be in danger! Tune in!" "School Shooting!" Right. VTech. That's another post, maybe. I feel that I'm ranting so I should move on.

So anyways, you tell me. What's the point of marrage? Failure rate of 50%? Those are some good odds. That's not to mention how many marrages stay together, even though they hate each other, or they want to stay together for the kids, or it's just 'taboo' or this, or that. The love is lost (what little there was), and it's a sham of a marrage. Marrage is just a term. It means practically nothing if there is no love involved.

For those of you planning to get married one day, more power to you. I hope things work out great. However, according to the statistics, you've just as much chance to end in misery and divoce as you do staying together. I hope you have more foresight than everyone else in this country has. And for my international readers, I can't speak for you, but at least here, I can assure you, Marrage has become a sham. Maybe it hasn't become a sham at all? Or maybe it's always been one since the beginning?

*Note: I do feel a need to state, that the idea of Marrage is great. I think it's a wonderful thing. Not all marrages are BS and not all will end in divorce. There are those that love each other and stay together, through thick and through thin, and it's a beautiful thing. I look up to you and what you have, and admire and love what you have. This post does not apply to you. You are what people should look up to and admire.

**Note: Yes, I'm a bit bitter. Why? Those numbers don't lie, and my whole life I've seen it all around me. People can sing about it all they want, movies, books, TV, whatever. Emotions cloud our judgement. Bad ideas sound like good ideas. We believe these bad ideas because we want to believe them. Whatever. I'm a bitter old man and have been for a great many years. I'd take a ballpark estimate at oooooh, almost 13 years? Lucky 13 huh? (another post on that I guess).

***Note: On a side note, these statistics aren't taking into consideration marrages that: end with murder of the spouse [awwwww <3], style="font-weight: bold;">63%
? Yummy!

****Note: FUCK MAN. 48%!? Damn! UGH. Only something as emotionally powerful can a 'success' rate of 48% be acceptable. It's rediculous. Think of a school had a 48% failure rate, or your car's breaks have a 48% chance to bitch out, or just... UGH. It's a fucking joke. You throw money at it (liscence, wedding, etc etc) and half the time it's ultimately bullshit anyways. Way to live up to your vows. "Well, they did mean them when they said it", some people may say. Great. They REALLY meant it when they said it. Now we have to call their judgement into question ANYTIME they REALLY mean anything. Ugh... *COUGH* Er... yeah, had to get that out. Eh...

Riiight, well... Now I'll end this, 'downer' of a post with soemthing a bit more of an 'up'. This saying is well known, but only the first part. I will say though, it does say what it says quite well. Farwell for another post well done (I hope).

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Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

One Site, Two Kids, Opposite sides of the "Whoa" Spectrum

"Mommy, there's a condom in my Happy Meal!" - Yes, just like it says. 7 year old finds a nice 'toy' in her bag. Quite a Happy Meal indeed! Wrapper Included.

"Mommy? Oh no! I'm going to call the police!" - Child, 4 year old calls the police when his mother colapsed. Name, age, address. What a Hero.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

10 Signs you're going to die in a movie

10. You are wearing a red shirt.
9. You announce that you're going to retire, right after you 'finish this case'.
8. You decide to rise up from your apparent death one more time to surprise the hero.
7. You betray Al Pacino.
6. You decide to stop following the hero and take a different route.
5. You declare "everything is safe" then step out from your hiding place.
4. A serial killer is on the loose and you reveal your breasts.
3. You're playing Jesus.
2. All your bullets miss the hero, even at point blank.
1. Han Solo owes you money.

*Blatently Stolen from this site, slightly altered*

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Movies of the Year

Spiderman 3, Shrek the Third, Ocean's Thirteen, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Bourne Ultimatum, Rush Hour 3. Other than Transformers, these are all sequels. Transformers, kind of fits in here, it's not a sequel or a remake (Ocean's Thirteen is both a sequel AND a remake of sorts), but it is an updated version of a classic. They're all coming out this year, and they are listed in chronological order. Interested?

Man cuts off penis in restaurant

A man cut off his penis with a knife in a packed London restaurant.

"Police were forced to use CS gas to restrain the man when they entered the Zizzi restaurant in The Strand on Sunday evening.

A Metropolitan Police spokeswoman said the man was aged between 30 and 40 and that his injuries were self-inflicted.

The man was then taken to hospital in south London where his condition is stable. It is understood surgeons were unable to reattach his penis."

gjhajfdlsafjdfajklfjaslkj; WOW. Want to read more? (of course you do!) Well here you to.

Indian Superman II



Words cannot express how I feel when I see this. The subpar production, the insane storyline (from what I could gather), the music... It's so bad it's good. But not good enough for me to want to watch for over a minute or two. If you finish it, let me know how it ends. Does Superman die? Does Spiderwoman bite him?

301 Fun (But Useless) Facts

Blatently stolen from this site. I know this list is not 100% accurate, there's a few things like the past tense of "Dare" is 'technically' right, it's an archaeic form of the word, and hemp is not marijuana, and I'm sure there are several other discrepencies (did I spell that right? Who knows! Too lazy to look it up right now). Either way, from this point foward, no posts of mine shall have any of my personal life as a topic. Most of you can probably figure out why, or you actually know. In any case, very few people actually read this blog, but a few people who know about it I would prefer to, not get involved. Anyways, enjoy this list of 301 random facts (and I use the word 'facts' loosely).

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1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley’s Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen.

2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen.

3. The “57″ on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had.

4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world’s garbage annually. On average, that’s 3 pounds a day per person.

5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels.

6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn’t digest itself.

7. 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim.

8. A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.

9. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

10. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

11. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.

13. Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number.

14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

15. All the chemicals in a human body combined are worth about 6.25 euro (if sold separately).

16. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

17. The ZIP in “ZIP code” means Zoning Improvement Plan.

18. Coca-Cola contained Coca (whose active ingredient is cocaine) from 1885 to 1903.

19. A “2 by 4″ is really 1 1/2 by 3 1/2.

20. It’s estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.

21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar

22. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

23. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print.

24. The “spot” on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino.

25. 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 dictionary were misspelled.

26. The “save” icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.

27. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Löwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively).

28. Camel’s have three eyelids.

29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day.

30. John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln’s son.

31. Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister.

32. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.

33. Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps.

34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

35. 55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses.

36. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

37. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

38. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name “soyce”.

39. Slugs have four noses.

40. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

41. The Three Wise Monkeys have names: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

42. India has a Bill of Rights for cows.

43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON’T TRY IT, DUMBASS)

44. During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their shirts to Hawaii for servicing.

45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads.

46. About 200,000,000 M&Ms are sold each day in the United States.

47. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

48. Over a course of about eleven years, the sun’s magnetic poles switch places. This cycle is called “Solarmax”.

49. There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.

50. Upper and lower case letters are named “upper” and “lower” because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters.

51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

52. The numbers “172″ can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That’s more than sharks.

54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.

55. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it.

56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour.

59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original.

60. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.

62. The largest amount of money you can have without having change for a dollar is $1.19 (3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies cannot be divided into a dollar).

63. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”.

64. IBM’s motto is “Think”. Apple later made their motto “Think different”.

65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget.

66. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

67. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

68. One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde. Only one in sixteen men is.

69. The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service.

70. When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived.

71. In America, someone is diagnosed with AIDS every 10 minutes. In South Africa, someone dies due to HIV or AIDS every 10 minutes.

72. Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald’s.

73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from.

74. In the US, about 127 million adults are overweight or obese; worldwide, 750 million are overweight and 300 million more are obese. In the US, 15% of children in elementary school are overweight; 20% are worldwide.

75. In Disney’s Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid (Disney spelled backward).

76. During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, “Red Vineyard at Arles”.

77. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

78. One in ten people live on an island.

79. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.

81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

82. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

83. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said “Elementary, my dear Watson”, Humphrey Bogart NEVER said “Play it again, Sam” in Casablanca, and they NEVER said “Beam me up, Scotty” on Star Trek.

84. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.

85. Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokes model.

86. The sound you here when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head.

87. More people are afraid of open spaces (kenophobia) than of tight spaces (claustrophobia).

88. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

89. There is a 1 in 4 chance that New York will have a white Christmas.

90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

92. Back in the mid to late ’80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn’t considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator.

93. $203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.

94. Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public).

95. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

96. Jim Henson first coined the word “Muppet”. It is a combination of “marionette” and “puppet.”

97. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words “North” and “South).

98. The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib. His name was Bibendum in the company’s first ads in 1896.

99. About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity.

100. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive.

102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a “palindrome”.

103. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.

105. China has more English speakers than the United States.

106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year’s Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes.

107. One in every 9000 people is an albino.

108. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

109. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.

111. Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.

112. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds; dogs only have about ten.

113. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.

114. In every episode of “Seinfeld” there is a Superman picture or reference somewhere.

115. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human’s neck.

116. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

118. Each year in America there are about 300,000 deaths that can be attributed to obesity.

119. About 55% of all movies are rated R.

120. About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually.

121. Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India.

122. Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.

123. The February of 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

124. The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

125. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable.

126. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

127. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

128. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

129. There are about 2 chickens for every human in the world.

130. The word “maverick” came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan refused to brand his cattle. Eventually any unbranded calf became known as a Maverick.

131. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse’s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

133. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the American flag is flying over the Parliament Building.

134. An American urologist bought Napoleon’s penis for $40,000.

135. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

136. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters “MT”.

137. $283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy.

138. Almonds are members of the peach family.

139. Rats and horses can’t vomit.

140. The penguin is the only bird that can’t fly but can swim.

141. There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.

142. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.

143. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

144. There are only four words in the English language that end in “-dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

145. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

146. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie.

147. “101 Dalmatians” and “Peter Pan” are the only Disney animations in which both of a character’s parents are present and don’t die during the movie.

148. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.

150. Ancient Egyptian priests would pluck every hair from their bodies.

151. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

152. Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18. 80% of burglaries are committed by people aged 13-21.

153. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

154. All polar bears are left-handed.

155. The catfish has over 27000 taste buds (more than any other animal)

156. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

157. Butterflies taste with their feet.

158. Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump.

159. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

160. Starfish have no brains.

161. 11% of the world is left-handed.

162. John Hancock and Charles Thomson were the only people to sign the Declaration of independence on July 4th, 1776. The last signature came five years later.

163. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

164. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

165. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

166. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

167. A healthy (non-colorblind) human eye can distinguish between 500 shades of gray.

168. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

169. Lizards can self-amputate their tails for protection. It grows back after a few months.

170. Los Angeles’ full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”. It can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.

171. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

172. A honeybee can fly at fifteen miles per hour.

173. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

174. A “jiffy” is the scientific name for 1/100th of a second.

175. The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.

176. The youngest pope ever was 11 years old.

177. The first novel ever written on a typewriter is Tom Sawyer.

178. One out of every 43 prisoners escapes from jail. 94% are recaptured.

179. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

180. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs melted into it.

181. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

182. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

183. Elwood Edwards did the voice for the AOL sound files (i.e. “You’ve got Mail!”). He is heard about 27 million times a day. The recordings were done before Quantum changed its name to AOL and the program was known as “Q-Link.”

184. A polar bears skin is black. Its fur is actually clear, but like snow it appears white.

185. Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis middle name was spelled Aron, in honor of his brother.

186. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.

188. Shakespeare invented the words “assassination” and “bump.”

189. There are a million ants for every person on Earth.

190. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

191. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

192. The name Jeep comes from “GP”, the army abbreviation for General Purpose.

193. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

194. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

195. Cats’ urine glows under a black light.

196. A “quidnunc” is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.

197. The first US Patent was for manufacturing potassium carbonate (used in glass and gunpowder). It was issued to Samuel Hopkins on July 31, 1970.

198. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors, the helicopter, and many other present day items.

199. In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated.

200. 25% of a human’s bones are in its feet.

201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic’s distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC).

202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker in Malaysia combined.

204. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the ’30s lobbied against hemp farmers (they saw it as competition).

205. “Canada” is an Indian word meaning “Big Village”.

206. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.

207. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

208. Rape is reported every six minutes in the U.S.

209. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet.

210. A jellyfish is 95% water.

211. Truck driving is the most dangerous occupation by accidental deaths (799 in 2001).

212. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

213. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day.

214. On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

215. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle)

216. In golf, a ‘Bo Derek’ is a score of 10.

217. In the U.S, Frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.

218. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

219. If you plant an apple seed, it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree of a different type of apple.

220. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

221. The only real person to be a PEZ head was Betsy Ross.

222. There are about 450 types of cheese in the world. 240 come from France.

223. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home the stadium becomes Nebraska’s third largest city.

224. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

225. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

226. In Iceland, a Big Mac costs $5.50.

227. Broccoli and cauliflower are the only vegetables that are flowers.

228. Newborn babies have about 350 bones. They gradually merge and disappear until there are about 206 by age 5.

229. There is no solid proof of who built the Taj Mahal.

230. In a survey of 200000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand.

231. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A quarter has 119.

232. On an American one-dollar bill there is a tiny owl in the upper-left-hand corner of the upper-right-hand “1″ and a spider hidden in the front upper-right-hand corner.

233. Judy Scheindlin (”Judge Judy”) has a $25,000,000 salary, while Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a $190,100 salary.

234. The name for Oz in the Wizard of Oz was thought up when the creator Frank Baum looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z.

235. Andorra, a tiny country on the border between France and Spain, has the longest average lifespan: 83.49 years.

236. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

237. Mr. Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister.

238. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day.

239. John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

240. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

241. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

242. “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

243. There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball. In the UK its 330.

244. The Toltecs (a 7th century tribe) used wooden swords so they wouldn’t kill their enemies.

245. “Duff” is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.

246. The US has more personal computers than the next 7 countries combined.

247. There have been over 600 lawsuits against Alexander Grahm Bell over rights to the patent of the telephone, the most valuable patent in U.S. history.

248. Kuwait is about 60% male (highest in the world). Latvia is about 54% female (highest in the world).

249. The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.

250. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’s nuclear weapons combined.

251. At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.

252. Julius Caesar’s autograph is worth about $2,000,000.

253. The tool doctors wrap around a patient’s arm to measure blood pressure is called a sphygmomanometer.

254. People say “bless you” when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.

255. US gold coins used to say “In Gold We Trust”.

256. In “Silence of the Lambs”, Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.

257. A shrimp’s heart is in its head.

258. In the 17th century, the value of pi was known to 35 decimal places. Today, to 1.2411 trillion.

259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+)

260. Pearls melt in vinegar.

261. “Lassie” was played by a group of male dogs; the main one was named Pal.

262. In 1863, Paul Hubert of Bordeaux, France, was sentenced to life in jail for murder. After 21 years, it was discovered that he was convicted of murdering himself.

263. Nepal is the only country that doesn’t have a rectangular flag. Switzerland is the only country with a square flag.

264. Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are the only angels named in the Bible.

265. Tiger Woods’ real first name is Eldrick. His father gave him the nickname “Tiger” in honor of a South Vietnamese soldier his father had fought alongside with during the Vietnam War.

266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol.

267. Abraham Lincoln’s ghost is said to haunt the White House.

268. God is not mentioned once in the book of Esther.

269. The odds of being born male are about 51.2%, according to census.

270. Scotland has more redheads than any other part of the world.

271. There is an average of 61,000 people airborne over the US at any given moment.

272. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane in case there is a crash.

273. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. The most common name (of any type) in the world is Mohammed.

274. The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice.

275. For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen.

276. Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. President to be born in a hospital.

277. Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

278. Around 2,000 left-handed people die annually due to improper use of equipment designed only for right handed people.

279. The “if” and “then” parts of conditional (”if P then Q”) statement are called the protasis (P) and apodosis (Q).

280. Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech.

281. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.

282. Only female mosquitoes bite.

283. The U.S. Post Office handles 43 percent of the world’s mail.

284. Most household dust is made of dead skin cells.

285. One in about eight million people has progeria, a disease that causes people to grow faster than they age.

286. The male seahorse carries the eggs until they hatch instead of the female.

287. The “countdown” (counting down from 10 for an event such as New-Years Day) was first used in a 1929 German silent film called “Die Frau Im Monde” (The Girl in the Moon).

288. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system.

289. There are seven suicides in the Bible: Abimelech. Samson, Saul, Saul’s armor-bearer, Ahithophel, Zimri, Judas.

290. A mongoose is not a goose but more like a meercat, which is not a cat but more like a prairie dog, which is not a dog but more like a ground squirrel.

291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.

292. Mercury is the only planet whose orbit is coplanar with its equator. Venus and Uranus are the only planets that rotate opposite to the direction of their orbit.

293. John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th. Adams and Jefferson died in the same year. Supposedly, Adams last words were “Thomas Jefferson survives.”

294. The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover Cleveland’s baby daughter, Ruth, not Babe Ruth the baseball player.

295. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.

296. The Falkland Isles (pop. about 2000) has over 700000 sheep (350 per person).

297. There are 41,806 different spoken languages in the world today.

298. While many treaties have been signed at or near Paris, France (including many after WWI and WWII), nine are actually known as the “Treaty of Paris”: Seven Years’ War (1763), American Revolutionary War (1783), French-Swede War (1810), France vs Sixth Coalition (1814), Battle of Waterloo (1815), Crimean War (1856), Spanish-American War (1898), union of Bessarabia and Romania (1920), establishment of European Coal and Steel Community (1951).

299. Robert Todd Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln’s oldest son) was in Washington DC during his father’s assassination as well as during President Garfield’s assassination, and he was in Buffalo NY when President McKinley was assassinated.

300. The city of Venice stands on about 120 small islands.

301. The past-tense of the English word “dare” is “durst”.

Monday, February 12, 2007

How To Write Your Own Will

Your will must be made in writing

Your will can be in any form of writing, handwritten, typed or printed, and in any language, but it must be in writing and any other expression of your wishes will not be effective. Oral expressions of your wishes and wills recorded on sound-tapes or videotapes are therefore not valid wills.

Your will should be written legibly because what cannot be read cannot be enforced. You do not necessarily have to write out the will yourself but if a beneficiary writes out the will by hand for you, suspicions might arise as to whether or not you knew of and approved of the contents of the will when you signed it and it could be challenged.

Your will can be written on any material, on paper, parchment, linen or carved in stone if you wish. Certain stationers sell 'will forms' upon which the basic parts of a will are pre-printed and on which you only have to fill in the blanks, but for some reason or another people always seem to have difficulty in filling them in correctly.

As in all other matters relating to wills, when considering the material upon which your will is to be written, it is better to keep it simple and use a blank sheet of good quality paper because with good luck and a healthy lifestyle it will be many years before your will will be required to be proved! If you use ink, use permanent ink. Although to do so would not make your will invalid, for reasons of security do not use pencil or a writing media which can be easily erased. Not everyone is honest in financial matters!

Your will must be signed by you or someone in your presence and at you request

The signature need not be your full name or indeed your name at all as long as a court will be satisfied that the mark which is made was intended as your signature and that it was intended to authenticate the document as your will. Solicitors often tell clients to sign their will in the same way as they would sign their cheques on the basis that if the mark intended as a signature can extract money from their bank account it can do anything! An inked thumbprint has been held by a court to be a sufficient signature, as has the testator's initials impressed by his seal, but the courts have not yet accepted electronic signatures and it is best to keep it simple and avoid courts rather than tempt fate by using such esoteric forms of authentication.

In whatever way your will is signed, it must either be done by you personally or by someone for you, at your direction and in your presence. To avoid problems, you should always sign your will personally or at least make a mark as your signature if you possibly can. If you are physically unable to sign or make your mark, e.g. because of paralysis or because you are blind, you can ask someone to sign the will for you as your will but they must do so in your presence and in the presence of the required witnesses.

Your Signature on the Will Must Be Made or Acknowledged By You in the Presence of Two or More Witnesses Who Must be PRESENT AT THE SAME TIME If all the witnesses to your will are not with you when the will is signed, you must confirm to them that the signature is yours and all the witnesses must be there when you do so. It is not sufficient for you to confirm it to each witness on separate occasions or for you to sign in the presence of one or more witnesses when the others are not there and subsequently to confirm the signature to the absent witness or witnesses.

Although the Wills Act 1837 refers to two or more witnesses it is only necessary and usual to have two witnesses to your signature, but they must be of age and mentally capable.

Each witness must sigh the will and either sign of acknowledge his signature in your presence

You must be present when the witness signs or acknowledges his signature, but there is no necessity for each witness to be present when the other witness signs.

It must be apparent that you intend to give effect to the will by signing it

In practice your signature and those of the witnesses should appear at the end of the will to show that they are intended to give effect as your will to all that goes before the signatures. If words appear in the will after the signatures there can be problems in that the Probate Registry will insist on the witnesses swearing an affidavit or making an affirmation to confirm that the words were in your will when it was signed and not added later by you or by anyone else and the witnesses might not then be alive, traceable or able to recollect. If the words were added later, of course, they would be ineffective and invalid and would not be admitted to probate.

If there are more pages than one it is as well for yourself and the witnesses to also sign at the bottom of each page so that nothing can be added later to the page and for the pages to be numbered so that no further pages can be inserted.

It is usual to indicate in the wording of the will that the document is signed as your last will.

A few general words on the subject of signing the will and witnesses

The witnesses are witnessing your signature. It follows therefore that you must sign first or there will be nothing for them to witness. The witnesses must be in a position to see you sign, not blind and their view must not be obscured. The witnesses need not know the contents of the will or even that it is a will, because it is your signature that they are witnessing and not the document.

When are you and the witness in each other's presence? When each can see what the other is doing, even if you are not in the same room.

All the above requirements as to the witnessing of wills might seem complicated but if you ensure that:

  • yourself and two adult witnesses are all present in the same room before any signing begins
  • the witnesses are not blind
  • the witnesses are not beneficiaries or the executors of the will or the spouse or civil partner of any beneficiary or executor (if they are the will will be valid but the beneficiary will lose the bequest and the executor possibly his right to expenses unless specifically authorised to charge them or the will is an informal military one or a seaman's will made at sea)
  • the witnesses are likely to be traceable if required when you die
  • you sign first followed by each witness
  • each witness signs with his usual signature and follows it by his printed name and his address and occupation or status (married woman, widow, etc.)
  • no one leaves the room before the signing is complete there should be no problem.

Monday, February 05, 2007

List of things I'm procrastinating on

1. Finishing this list

Monday, January 15, 2007

A series of thoughts part 5: Intentions and Fear.

Never pick up strangers. Why? Why not? Because you don't know what their intentions are. You don't have any reason to trust them. You may know a little about them, but you don't understand anything about them. You don't know what their intentions are. Fear. You don't know, and it scares you. We, as modern society have become consumed with fear, and become more solitary as the days go by. We don't talk to our neighbors, we don't make friends with the locals at the market, we don't really do that sort of thing anymore. Not saying it doesn't happen, but it's far more rare now than it has been in the past.

We've become almost consumed with fear. Don't talk to strangers, don't look at them, don't pick them up, don't do anything to them. They might just attack you. Or be a terrorist. Or be a wanted murderer. Of course, because you know nothing about them. Might as well prepare for the worst and just assume they might be bad. In case. If they're great and nice people, it'd be great if you struck up a conversation. If they weren't, you might wish you never spoke to them at all. Better safe than sorry, right? But the thing that makes us so afraid, is we don't know what their intentions are.

Of course, this isn't EVERYONE, there's always exceptions to the rule (not that this is a rule or anything, it's just how the saying goes), but it's why we don't put out our personal information out on the internet, it's why we have multiple levels of securty for our bank account, why we have home security, car alarms, etc. Because there ARE people out there waiting to exploit us. There are people who do prey on the kindness of strangers. We can't tell them apart though, so it's better safe than sorry, and everyone is one of those people, until we get a chance to know them. But a lot of the time, we don't even want to go that far.

For some people, it's easier than others to openly trust people. And for some, it's easier to trust them online becasue it's not such a commitment. What I mean is, if they're an ass, you can just stop talking to them, block them, change your e-mail, etc. If it was in real life, it might be a bit more work. Changing your phone number and moving is a lot more work than backing up your blog, moving it to a new blog and changing your e-mail.

A series of thoughts part 4: Right or Easy

Do you often find yourself doing what's right most of the time, or what's easy? Most of time we take the easy route, we're all guilty of it. Small things, you might not even think about. The difference between stopping to help someone pick up some groceries they dropped, or to hold a door open for someone. Now, this is completely just my opinion on the topic. Right? What's right? It's completely an opinion. But I think it would be good to hold doors to help people, to help people who you don't even know when you see that they need help.

But of course, it could be a smaller thing, that doesn't involve anyone else. Putting things back into their place? Putting off doing something until later? Dropping off a movie you borrowed from your friend? Do you finish doing your chores before you go to bed, or do you do it tomorrow? You can always do it later. Eh, whatever. Right? Apathy is far easier than actively putting forth effort.

Apathy... people are becoming more apathetic to what's going on around them. More so than before. I can't tell you for sure why though, there could be a number of factors or reasons. How many people have protested the War in Iraq in the United States? If a coworker is being mistreated, do you stand up for them or do you just let it play out? Don't want to get involved? We're all guilty of sitting back and doing nothing. I know I'm guilty of it. But I try to do the right thing whenever I can. The right thing? My bad. I meant, I try to do what I think is right. I try to help those who need help, those who cannot help themself. I don't do it all the time, because sometimes, I fall victim to Apathy too, everyone does.

Don't let it take hold of you, not for long. The more often you do nothing, the easier it is to do nothing, and the more often you will do nothing. Idle hands are the devil's playground, as they say, right?

Sunday, January 14, 2007

A series of thoughts part 3: Free Will

I know I'll step on a few toes by writing this post, so I apolagize ahead of time my intentions are not to hurt any of you. It was hard to write it, and even harder to post it. I started this post a few days ago, but haven't been able to sit down and write it. I've been working on it a little at a time, day today.

*sigh*

I don't believe in Fate, Destiny, Karma, any of those things. Sometimes I wish I did, it would make things far easier if I did, but I don't. I don't believe in any Religion either. A shocker, I know. Having seen the first two parts of these series of posts, you can tell that I think... way too much. Religion, Fate, Destiny, Karma, they're great ideas, and I wish I could believe in them. For me, to believe in such things means there is no Free Will, only the illusion of Free Will. If everything we did happns for a reason, if there is another force controlling what happens, then we really don't have any control of what we do in our lives. All our struggle, was preplanned and all our suffering was meant to be.

If this were true, then children who have died in accidents were meant to be born, live for a few years, and die, never to truely experience life. Why? Why is that child less deserving of a full life? Because some outside force decided it was so? Was it a god? Was it karma? Was it fate? I don't want to believe that, that those who suffer for no reason were meant to suffer because someone, or something decided that they should. If this is true, if someone is making descisions for me and I have no real say as to what I do in my life, then why do I bother trying? If I killed myself right now, it would have been fate? Destiny? Then we should never mourn anything that happens, if these things are real. When we get into accidents or lose our loved ones, we shouldn't cry or feel bad because it was suppose to happen. If someone breaks into your house, don't get mad at them. It's not their fault, destiny made them break into your house. All the worst things that have ever happened to you, you were meant to suffer. All your greatest accomplishments mean nothing, because you were destined to do it. If this is the case, why bother doing anything? Why try at all?

Now, I know some (or many) of you don't agree with me, and you'll probably let me know it too. I don't mind. I don't intend to change your ways of thinking, or to make you agree with me. If you do agree with me, I want it to be of your own Free Will, not to be forced. I don't want to make you agree. I may tell try to convince you, but I will never lie or be untruthful when discussing. I will always tell both sides and allow you to think for yourself. Not that I will try to convince you, these sort of things aren't so easily changed in one's mind.


Saturday, January 13, 2007

A series of thoughts part 2: Understanding Why

Do you understand why things happen, or do you just know? Do you understand the reasoning behind the things people do, or do you just see what's on the surface? It's the difference between manslaughter and murder. One is with intent, one is without. You might have done the exact same thing, but it's why you did it that matters more. What your intentions are.

If you go to a movie, and you hear someone's phone ringing during the movie. What do you think? "Oh, that bastard." Or something similar? Sure, nobody likes it, but what if he had a good reason? What if he wasn't a careless selfish ass who left his phone on? What if his father is in the hospital and his friends took him out for a good time since he's been moping at home for several days? What if his phone is on in case of an emergency call? Do you know? Would you like to find out or would you rather just assume that you already know why? When you see a preacher on TV. Is he really trying to save your soul, or is he in the buisness as a power trip? Maybe it's for the money? Do you know? Or, maybe he really is completely honest and truely trying to help you?

Now, I'm not saying that this is always the case, and that yes, most of the time they are just an asshole who left their phone off because they were careless or seflish. But you think you know, but do you really? Do you understand why? What you do, is important. Why you did it, can be more important. Maybe you helped a coworker with a problem they had. But, did you do it to genuinely help them, or did you do it to impress another coworker? Did you only listen to your friend to try to get on their good side, or did you genuinely care? Why is just as important, if not more important, than what. Do you understand why things happen, or do you just know?

Friday, January 12, 2007

A series of thoughts part 1: Knowing and Understanding

It's a big difference, knowing and understanding. It's not something many people think about, but it makes all the difference. People know a lot of things, people understand a lot less. People know that gravity pulls things down. Nobody understands why it happens though. A lot of times, people know that someone is mad, but they may not understand why they're mad. It's the difference, especially with people, between knowing someone, and understanding them. People know that their computer works, but they don't really understand. People know that they're going to die, but not everyone understand.

I know that when I turn on the faucet, that water will come out. I don't understand how it works. I don't understand how the water gets from rivers and dams, through the water filtering plant, and all that. I know when I turn on the stove, the gas comes out, and the spark ignites the gas and creates flame. Where does the gas come from? I don't understand how it works. How does the dam work? How does the water filtering work? How do they manage water pressure controls so sensetive? How does the gas get to my house? Where does my money go when I spend it? Pay taxes? I know it changes a lot of hands, but whos, and why? How does my car work? I know it takes me places, but I don't understand how it does it.

It's a big difference, knowing and understanding. It's not something many people think about, but it makes all the difference. Do you know, or do you understand?